How Much Do You Really Know About You? What's In Your Johari Window?

Have you ever thought about how well you actually know yourself? According to American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, our personalities can be divided into four windows and they called their discovery the Johari Window. Basically, it goes like this:


ARENA - Known to Self & Known by Others - Examples of this could be a known fact about you such as, that you enjoy roller coasters or you hate chocolate. FACADE - Known to Self & Unknown by Others - An examples of this could be that you know that you dislike your job, but not one else around you knows this.
BLIND SPOT - Unknown to Self but Known to Others - An example of this could be that people know you to be rude but you are not aware of it.
THE UNKNOWN - Unknown to Self and Unknown to Others - An example of this could be one day you discover that after visiting a casino, you've awakened a gambling addiction inside of you.

Do you know what's in your Arena and Facade? And wouldn't it be nice to know what is in your Blind Spot and what could possibly be in your Unknown?

Here is a link to an interactive Johari Window, ask your spouse, friends or co workers to do it with you. It can be an eye opener. http://kevan.org/johari?name=joppyman

Bishop Weeks Strikes Below The Belt! (so to speak)

Bishop Weeks Gives a Good One-Two Punch to Wife Juanita Bynum!

Round Two - Bishop Surrenders

"Baby, go ahead you know I'm just playing...."

Is this a little too late? Why the heck didn't he decide to shut up and pray sooner?
Bishop was there really a book at all? Or, is this just a media hoax to get the jury to see you as a nice guy? I'm Just Asking.......

UPDATE: Bishops Weeks pulled the video from his web site. Could it be that he was just playing about the apology and now he is serious? "Apology over. The book sells!"

TOYS R US Gift Receipt Policy Sucks!!!

This information is based on my horrid experience at Toys R Us. You will find during your Christmas shopping, the stores automatically present you with a gift receipt and a little note on the top of the gift receipt encourages you to give that particular receipt to your intended gift recipient. Now guess why the stores would go through all that trouble just for little ole you?

I suspect that since Toys R Us has been losing money over the last few years, they have come up with a creative and sneaky little way to deal with consumers returning items with the gift receipts. Even if you pay cash, Toys R Us will not return the item and give back cash if you present the gift receipt. They will only give you a store credit. The store manager in the Toys R Us in Clinton, MD rudely stated that the gift receipt is not an actual receipt. HUH? What does that mean? I was given the gift receipt when I paid cash for my items, how could it not be an actual receipt? And why print it up at the time of the transaction if it is not connected to the transaction?

Toys R Us has found a legal way to hold on to your money. If you buy your niece or nephew or cousin something from Toys R Us, give them the actual receipt and if necessary keep a copy for your records. That way, if Toys R US doesn't have the item they would rather have in stock, then Junior can get the money and go over to one of the "Super Stores" and get the item probably at a cheaper price.

File this one under consumer rip offs!

Evening Fun

This is a fun brain exerciser and it requires a little blog honor. This is a visual test to see how perceptive you are. The exercise requires you to view the following video and count how many times the players in the white shirts pass the ball back and forth. That's it. But if you view the video more than once, you will not get a true gauge of your perception.

Here is the link to the video, java is required:

http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/grafs/demos/15.html

Blog honor should kick in right about now. How many times did the white shirts pass the ball back and forth?

Now watch the video again and this time do not count the balls being passed back and forth, just look at the video.

Did you have surprising results?

It's called inattentional blindness and you can read more about it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inattentional_blindness

That's pretty cool!

Saturday Afternoon Question

What would you do in this gas gauging price age, if you pulled up to a gas pump and the owner had obviously made a mistake on the price?Instead of cracking your head for $3.32 a gallon, they set the price for $0.33. Would you pump anyway and call your relatives and friends so they can fill their tanks up too? I mean really! The oil companies have been getting us for years! Or would you pass this opportunity up thinking that your integrity is more important then saving a few dollars? What would you really do? Check out this story:
http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/odd/2007/12/07/ODD.33.Cent.Gas/
Hmm since we are actually talking about honesty, let me be honest here. If the kids weren't with me, I would probably pump my gas anyway. If I had to make a decision like that in front of the kids, I'd do what I knew in my heart was the right thing and bite my lip all the way home. Just being honest!

Nevaeh Richardson - Heaven Spelled Backwards

There was a little baby girl born sometime around the 26th of November named Nevaeh Richardson. Unfortunately, she was born into a family where at least one of the parents is a psychopath. She was sexually assaulted and murdered and her 21 year old father, Christopher Richardson, has been charged with her rape and murder. She was 8 days old! WHY?
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/14759394/detail.html?rss=det&taf=det
Nevaeh, You will only know pure love now. I am so sorry that you had to face pure evil while you were here.

Sean Taylor

I feel bad for the family of Sean Taylor and give my sincere condolences and prayers. I have a relative that works for the Redskins and know that Sean was well liked and the entire organization is finding it hard to accept his death . But this is a question that falls in the I'm Just Asking category. Should we, as a society, hold our sports figures up as heroes? Is this one of the ways that we fail our children? I don't have a clear cut answer. Sean's death is indeed tragic, a young man who had found his niche in life with a young daughter who will never know the love of her father. But was Sean a national hero? Should his funeral have been televised on network TV? I'm just asking.......

One of the Reasons Why We Have Psycho Adults

Can we go back to the "village" mentality of raising kids? How can this type of behavior go on for so many years unnoticed by so many people? Is it really that no one noticed, or is it that no one cared?

http://www.news-press.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071130/SS08/71129069/1075

I am no Michael Vick fan, but if he gets a longer sentence than this "parent" gets, something is wrong with this picture.

The Miseducation of African American Students

I received this article via email (thanks Allenne) and while it is lengthy,
it is worth it to read the entire article. It really makes me think because I am looking for an explanation about our school system. I live in Prince George's County, Maryland, the wealthiest predominantly African American county in the nation and our schools are ranked among the lowest in the nation. Our neighboring predominantly white county in the same state of Maryland, has
one of the highest ranking school systems in the nation. How can that be? John
Ogbu thinks he knows why.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/916557/posts

Do our kids spend too much time watching TV and on the phone instead of doing homework? What are our attitudes about education? Whose responsibility is it to make sure our kids get educated?

I first talked about this subject on blacksapience.blogspot.com in response to one of Blkseagoat's posts. I've lived in this county for the last 25 years. A real estate boom has caused the prices of houses to sky rocket to unbelievable prices. The average price of a house in this neighborhood used to be $200K. Now, you can not find a one bedroom shack for that price and the newer houses cost $500K and up. Why are educated people paying these astronomical prices for houses in a county where our claim to fame is that our school system sucks? My husband and I are wheeling and dealing trying to move out of this county and still they build more houses. The question still remains, why aren't our kids being properly educated?

Stupid Parents Leave Toddler in Cold Car

This season can bring out some of the best in parents and also some of the worst. Here is an example of one of the worst:
http://www.wgal.com/news/14676130/detail.html
Parents, please remember the safety and well being of your children at all times. It's amazing to me that some people would need to be told this, but the need to shop does not supercede the need to provide a safe environment for your child. And if you feel that a deal such as $5.00 Tickle Me Elmo doll is too good to pass up, it might be wise to do your part to ensure that your child will be still be alive on Christmas Day to laugh with Elmo. And why did both idiots have to leave the car? Couldn't one go shop and one stay with the child?

Since there is no manual that comes with children, let's just use a little common sense. Just ask these questions before you make a decision about your children:

1) Is this necessary?
2) Is this safe?
3) Is this right?

If you can answer no to either of these questions, "DON'T DO IT!" Figure out a better way!

A Matriarch Passes On

A true matriarch of our family passed on the day before Thanksgiving. She had been sick for the last couple of years and kind of not herself even longer than that, so my kids really don't know about Aunt Susie. When my cousins and I were kids, she made family gatherings so enjoyable because she spent hours playing with us. She had a boisterous laugh that made her even funnier. At that time, she didn't have any kids of her own and I think she looked forward to being with us as much as we looked forward to being with her.

But what everyone near and far knew my Aunt Susie for was her cooking. The lady could cook some fried chicken that would make the chickens offer themselves up for sacrifice. I have yet to taste any macaroni and cheese like hers and even though everyone loves my macaroni and cheese, mine is still not like hers. I don't eat roast beef, but if Aunt Susie fixed it, it was so tender and tasted so good, that I could not pass it up. And I gave up trying to fix potato salad like hers. That is pretty much a recipe that I will have to find out when I get to Heaven.

You name it, she could cook it. So it seems fitting to me that she passed on the day before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving means good food and for my family, good food meant Aunt Susie. So as my daughter and I prepared our Thanksgiving meal this year, every time we needed to make a choice for ingredient or measurement, we said, "WWASD?" or "What would Aunt Susie do?" We did pretty good!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

From my family to yours, I wish everyone a Happy, Peaceful, Harmonious Thanksgiving. I am savoring my blessings this year. This has been a different kind of year for me, some good, some bad, but always, God is my source and has continued to provide for us. Love on your kids, give them an extra hug this Thanksgiving and let them know how grateful you are to have them to love on. Let them know that they are important in your life and their needs and feelings matter to you. Let them know that that you will make all of the necessary adjustments to your life to accommodate their safety, emotional, spiritual, physical needs. We lead them in the way that they should go. And to the family of Da'Niyah Jackson, I pray that God's peace will embrace you during this time of need. Da'Niyah is safe now.

Tonight I Cry For Deniyah Jackson

I read about this story on whataboutourdaughters.blogspot.com. This story has hurt me to my core. I just can't imagine what this precious little baby had to endure at the hands of this monster. I feel better thinking that somehow God protected her from the pain and agony and knowing that she now rests in His hands knowing only pure love. And I also feel a little better that this monster will get what he deserves in jail. Brothers in jail have a standard. Child rapists and murderers get treated like the little punks that they are. Dude will probably have a butthole the size of Texas before he leaves this Earth. Thank you brothas! We appreciate the good that you do in jail. If I knew how to post her picture I would. You can see this beautiful child at http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07323/835131-52.stm

The Allegheny County medical examiner yesterday determined that
10-month-old Daniyah Jackson died from multisystem organ failure precipitated by
injuries to her abdomen and from a sexual assault. Her death has been ruled a
homicide.

KDKADaniyah Jackson
Police are expected to charge Clinton
Smith, 30, with homicide. Before the child died, he was charged with rape,
involuntary deviate sexual intercourse with a child, endangering the welfare of
a child, aggravated assault and recklessly endangering another person in the
case.
According to police, the girl's mother, Latoya Jackson, left Daniyah in
the care of Mr. Smith on Thursday morning at her Herman Street home in Troy Hill
when she left for work. Paramedics were called to the home that
evening.
Police said the baby had suffered bruises on her face, arms and legs
as well as a bite mark on her chest. Doctors told police she also had been
sexually abused.
Mr. Smith told police that he and his 2-year-old son were
the only other people in the house that day, but that he didn't know how the
baby was injured.
The girl was pronounced dead at 3:34 p.m. Saturday at
Children's Hospital, according to the county medical examiner's office.
Steve
Twedt contributed to this report. Nate Guidry can be reached at nguidry@post-gazette.com or
412-263-3865.

Tawana Brawley Case Reopened?

This is being reported by CNN. I am not sure what I think about this story, I remember the headlines years ago, it was a big mess and if you aren't familiar with the story this is the case that made Al Sharpton a household name. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tawana_Brawley It is also the case that damaged his reputation and in my opinion, his exploitation of the case took away some of the credibility of the Brawley family. I just think it is interesting this case is being brought back to the forefront when Al is being called about ignoring crimes against African American women.

Glenda Brawley and Ralph King want to press New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and
state Attorney General Andrew Cuomo to re-examine the November 1987 incident,
which a state grand jury ultimately concluded was a hoax, the Daily News
reported.
"New York state owes my daughter. They owe her the truth," said
Glenda Brawley. She reiterated her stance that her daughter was indeed raped by
a group of white men who smeared her with feces and scrawled racial epithets on
her body.
Representatives for Spitzer and Cuomo did not immediately respond
to telephone and e-mail messages.
Brawley was 15 when she went missing for
four days from her home in Wappingers Falls, about 75 miles north of New York.
After being found, she made the shocking allegation that she had been abducted
and raped by six white law enforcement officials.
The case quickly made
headlines and drew the attention of the Rev. Al
Sharpton, who became an outspoken advocate for the teen.
But a
special state grand jury found evidence Brawley had fabricated her story. A
former Dutchess County prosecutor who had been implicated in the case later sued
Brawley, Sharpton and other Brawley advisers for defamation, winning a $345,000
judgment against the advisers and a $185,000 judgment against Brawley.
A
spokeswoman for Sharpton, who was held liable for $65,000 in the case, did not
immediately respond to an e-mail message early Sunday. The former prosecutor's
attorney did not immediately return a telephone message.

Hmmmmm, very interesting. But something happened to that young girl, what, we may never know, because the media and the public became sick of Al Sharpton. The article does not say what Tawana thinks about the request to reopen her case.

No BET Protest For Me Today : (

I will have to join my sisters and brothers next week to protest at the home of Debra Lee. Just as I was preparing to go, I got a call from one of our clients who needed attention and my husband is out somewhere in the Atlantic deep sea fishing. He is the one who usually deals with the clients, but I put on my manager hat and stood in for him and everyone is happy, except for me. I guess somebody has to make the money lol. It is now after 3:00 and I know the protesters are probably gone by now so I won't even attempt now to make the 45 min long subway ride. But next week, I will be there with bells on! Pastor Coates, you are the man!

Why I Stood Proudly Today With Blkseagoat

Just for last Sunday, I joined the DC sub culture of the Washington Redskin Fans. It was my first professional football game and honestly, it was a bit different for me to be surrounded by so many Caucasian people at an event in the original Chocolate City. And it became clear pretty quickly, that white people take their football extremely seriously. The same people that you see in suits and ties during the week, were out there dressed in Redskins garb drinking beer, hooping, hollering and acting a fool. I think having a ticket to a pro football game kind of gives you that right to do that and I ain't mad at 'em. Whatever floats your boat. So when you're in Rome you do as the Romans do, and me and mine (without the beer, we are just naturally loud), acted a fool too. We were initially obvious newcomers to the community as we had to be the only people in the stadium with no Redskins gear on and all of us even my husband, the extrovert, were a little unsure about pro football game etiquette. But we soon became acclimated and everyone, including my nine year old, was singing "Hail To The Redskins" and chanting, "You Suck" to the Philadelphia Eagles (yes grown folks were yelling that). So all was well and we were having a great time. And then it happened! At first I couldn't believe it, I thought the sound guy must have made a mistake because surely they were not playing the actual song "Superman Dat Ho" over the loudspeaker. Surely someone would realize the error and quickly cut it off and apologize to the crowd. But nooo ! Fed Ex Stadium and the Washington Redskins played that song in all it's glory for everyone, including my nine year old, to hear. I watched the response of the people around me. A couple of African American kids jumped up to do the dance, people cheered all around us and then there was this particular group of white guys in the row behind us. They seemed to sneer and jeer while this song was playing. I can still see the sneer on this one guy's face because just for a few seconds we made eye contact. If I close my eyes right now, his face is as plain as day. His expression said to me, "It's not my daughter these guys are calling hos it's your daughters. And if you don't care, I certainly don't care. Bring on the hos!" I took a mental stand at that moment. It became quite clear to me what Reverend Coates and the enoughisenoughcampaign.com is all about. I understood Gina's whataboutourdaughters.blogspot.com outrage concerning the Dunbar Village travesty and her disgust at the silence about the assaults on women and children of color. I looked at my innocent nine year old who knew how I felt about the song but who still could not conceal her delight in them playing it. She doesn't have a clue about the demeaning, disgusting lyrics and that is the subtle way our children are romanced by the blatant degradation of our women. I understood at that moment that my daughter is not a ho and not a bitch and it is about time I stood up for her and the attack on her by the entertainment industry. At that moment I also understood that it was my duty as an African American woman to protest our "leaders" silence about the hate crimes inflcited upon our women. I had a cause to fight for. Does the name Stepha Henry mean anything to you? Probably not! As far as I know she is still missing, or course nobody reports about her so I don't know for sure. So today I participated in my first demonstration ever and I stood proudly beside Blkseagoat of http://blacksapience.blogspot.com/ and stood for me, my daughter, your daughter, our Moms, our sisters, our aunts, our grandmothers and every woman who has had enough. Blkseagoat had signs for us and had information about Dunbar Village for us to pass out. We yelled about our daughters and about hate crimes against women. We were a part of history today and I am grateful to Blkseagoat for having the guts and the desire to get the permit that allowed us to speak for change. Immediately, it made a difference in at least one little girl's life. My daughter was excited to hear that, today, I stood for her. She may not fully understand why but she knew it was good. Hopefully, in the long term, we will make a difference in the treatment of women of color everywhere. So tomorrow, I will join Reverend Coates for the first time and take my daughter with me to march against BET and their exploitation of African Americans. My daughter will march tomorrow for a change for your daughters and for your sons. And shame to the Washington Redskins and Fed Ex Field for exploiting and sanctioning the degradation of women. Did I mention that they played that song twice?

Daughter Wins Case Against Predator Rapist Father

This story speaks for itself. There is no need for me to add a comment. Except high five to the daughter for exposing this low life.

Woman Wins $8M in Lawsuit Against Father
By JAY REEVES, APThu Nov 15, 7:27 PM EST
A judge ordered a prominent businessman to pay $8 million to his daughter, who claimed he sexually abused her for decades beginning when she was a preschooler and included a rape the night she was crowned homecoming queen.
Circuit Judge Helen Shores Lee ruled against Fred M. Blackmon of Montgomery, a vice president with Merrill Lynch & Co., in a civil lawsuit filed by Louise Plott.
Blackmon's attorneys argued unsuccessfully that many of Plott's claims were too wild to believe and unsupported by evidence. Among other things, she alleged that Blackmon repeatedly took her to orgies at a hotel as a young girl, once mailed her a dismembered thumb and a fetus, and forced her to participate in the stabbing death of a young man.
An attorney for Blackmon said Thursday his client was considering an appeal. Blackmon had testified his daughter's case against him was "an absolute lie."
"We're disappointed with the order. Our client has always denied wrongdoing," said defense lawyer Allen Hammer.
Attorneys for Plott, 35, said she felt vindicated by the judge's decision, released Nov. 6 but not previously reported. Plott had asked for a judgment of $32 million.
"Louise showed great determination throughout this case. She overcame incredible obstacles just to publicly confront her abuser," said a statement by her attorneys, James L. North and J. Timothy Francis.
The Associated Press's policy is not to name alleged victims of sexual abuse in most cases, but Plott told The AP in an interview Thursday that she hopes to help other victims of incest by letting her story be told publicly.
"I think there's an amazing misunderstanding that this does not go on, but it does," Plott said.
In a sworn statement, Plott recounted decades of abuse she said began in her bedroom of the family's home in Montgomery, where the Blackmons lived on one of the most exclusive streets in town.
Plott claimed Blackmon raped her the night she was named homecoming queen at her high school, and again the night before her first wedding. She recounted numerous other assaults, claiming she never reported any of the attacks for fear her father would harm her or, later, her three children.
Plott's attorneys acknowledged that some of her stories were "bizarre," but they argued that evidence showed some embellishments could be linked to mental problems from decades of abuse by Blackmon.
The judge heard 28 witnesses during a trial that was held without a jury in August. In her ruling, the judge said four therapists testified that Plott had symptoms that are common among victims of childhood sexual abuse, and that two experts who testified for Blackmon couldn't say whether Plott had been abused.
Blackmon is a one-time University of Alabama golfer who has received recognition for donating money to Crimson Tide athletics. He has served on church boards and is listed as president of a family foundation that has more than $1.2 million in assets and has given tens of thousands to charity.
Documents filed by the defense show Plott's mother, Bess Blackmon, and four siblings denied during testimony that they saw signs of abuse, but one of her sisters also described the allegations as "complicated." Plott claimed two of her brothers were forced as children to join in the sexual assaults by their father, an allegation both brothers denied.
Blackmon testified during the trial that he no longer loved Plott because of what he said were false allegations. He said he quit giving Plott an $8,000-a-month "allowance" after she contacted attorneys in January 2006 about a lawsuit.

My Hair Won The Battle!

Sandra Rose has a post today about a Glamour Magazine editor making the comment, "Just say no to the fro" when talking to a group of lawyers about hairstyles. Of course, she is now looking for a new job. That brought thoughts about my own hair. I currently wear it au natural. I get many comments all of the time about it and some people even touch it. So now my reply when asked about my hair is that, "My hair won the battle!"
I have tried perming it, s-curling it, blow drying it, setting it, wrapping it, geling it, mooseing it, cutting it down to a "butch" hairstyle, flat ironing it, curling ironing it, and practically burning it off with the stuff that Debbie Allen promoted years ago. But each time my hair rebelled with a vengeance. So now, I surrendered. I let my hair do it's own thing. And now it has grown considerably since I don't torture it with heat and chemicals. My hair is a happy victor!

Do You Know What Is In Your Kid's Toys?

Toy makers are scrambling once again to pull products from the shelves that can harm our children. Who the heck is minding the store? The following story is excerpted from INDSYSTAR.COM:

"Millions of Chinese-made toy beads for children have been pulled from shelves in North America and Australia after scientists found they contained a chemical that converts into a powerful "date rape" drug when ingested."

WTH? Was there no product testing? Where do they get these chemists from? Did they borrow them from the trailer park home made meth labs? This is damn ridiculous!

"Two children in the U.S. and three in Australia were hospitalized after swallowing the beads. In the United States, the toy goes by the name Aqua Dots, which are distributed by Spin Master Toys based in Toronto. They are called Bindeez in Australia, where they were named toy of the year at an industry function earlier this year. Scientists say the beads contain a chemical that the human body metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate. When eaten, the compound -- made from common and easily available ingredients -- can induce unconsciousness, seizures, drowsiness, coma and death. statement from the New South Wales Fair Trading Department said the product was supposed to use a nontoxic compound used in glue, but it contained the harmful chemical instead."

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!! How can we trust that the regular products that we use have been tested extensively and are safe? Will we find out ten years from now that the lotion we have been putting on our bodies has been poisoning us? Is this really a Chinese issue as the news would have you believe or the get-it-on-the-shelf-as-cheap-as-possible mentallity of the toy makers? We should all be outraged.

Juanita Bynum Strikes Again, So To Speak

I have talked about Juanita Bynum more on blogs than I have ever talked about anyone in real life. And I thought I was through, well at least until the "trials." But girlfriend has gone and done it again. She has established the "Love Don't Hit" foundation. See for your self:
http://www.juanitabynum.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=28
I just find this hilarious on so many levels, but will save my comments for the trial. This chick is a barrel of laughs.

Kudos to A Smart, Savvy and Empowered 9 Year Old

This happened a few weeks ago but I could not start a blog without giving this little girl her props. From an article in the Washington Post dated October 23, 2007, this nine year old is credited with having a child molester by the balls, so to speak.

"A 9-year-old girl was molested in a Fairfax County Wal-Mart by a man claiming to be a police officer, but the suspect was arrested minutes later, after the victim kicked him and ran for help, police said yesterday.
The girl was in the Wal-Mart at 7910 Richmond Hwy., in the Hybla Valley area of southern Fairfax, on Saturday afternoon, police said. She was standing in the electronics section when a man approached her while she was separated from her mother.
The man told the girl that he was a police officer and that he had to check her pockets for stolen merchandise, Fairfax Officer Don Gotthardt said. He did not present any identification or badge, Gotthardt said, and was not in a uniform. He wore a white hooded sweat shirt and bluejeans.
While the man was checking the girl, he molested her, police said. The girl kicked the man in the groin and ran to her mother. Jaime F. Calacan Jr., 36, of the 200 block of North Furman Street in Alexandria was charged with abduction, aggravated sexual battery, impersonating a police officer and other counts."

Now that is what I am talking about!! Her bravery and quick thinking turned a horrific experience into something she can remember as a moment of pride. My child has been known to wander off in stores and I have become much less anal about keeping an eye on her as I did when she was younger. Sometimes parents need to be reminded that there are predators out there waiting for us to turn our backs.

Empowering Our Kids With Words

There are things that we, as parents, can do to empower our kids. We need to do things that inspire a level of confidence and nurture that confidence to grow as they mature into successful young adults. When outside of our home, my daughter was extremely shy as a toddler. She was very bright, very articulate, and very personable. However, except for the people that visited us on a regular basis, no one else knew. They could only take our word for what a wonderful child she was, to others she acted like a deaf mute and they probably considered her borderline autistic. So when she started preschool at 2 yo, I began to say affirmations to her to remind her who she was, and what others needed to know about her. I would look her in the eye every morning before we went out the door and tell her, "You are wonderful, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are smart, you are a leader and God has purpose for you and you will know what it is." She is now 9 and over the years we have added a lot to her morning declarations. She is no longer the shy little girl, she is a leader in her class and is a little girl with strong determination and purpose. I am not the only one to think this now, everyone says so. Every school morning (we usually skip weekends and holidays) my daughter declares the following about herself. Some mornings when we have time, I have her stand in the mirror but most days she says it as she waits at the door for the school bus.

"I am wonderful

I am beautiful (inside and out)

I am strong

I am smart

I have purpose

I will walk in my purpose

I am healed of any infirmity

God's hedge of protection surrounds me always

No weapon formed against me shall prosper

I am prosperous

I am virtuous

I am a leader not a follower

I am the lender not the borrower

I am the head and not the tail

I am a soldier for the Lord

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I am a college graduate

I own my own business

I am independently wealthy

My overflow will help others

I believe it

I receive it

In Jesus' name

Amen"

These affirmations are just one of the God inspired methods of empowerment that I incorporate as part of my daughter's life. How do you empower your children? They are our future and we are called to provide them with memories that bless them all of their lives.

Song of the Week "Why?" by Kirk Franklin (featuring Stevie Wonder)

Lately, I have been playing this song a lot. It has just enough of the right elements (Stevie Wonder, old school Denise Williams, great backgrounds, nice beat) to make it a great song. I like to hear it in the kitchen when I'm cooking and dancing with the refrigerator. I love the words (they really reflect my mood for this season). Sorry, I don't know yet how to include the actual video on blog yet but here is the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NSOPszn6Ig

Slick Willie Gary and How Much Did Mrs. Gary Know

The Willie Gary story is interesting to me on so many levels. Here is a link to the story: http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1115283908919
In a nutshell, rich guy cheats, gets jump-off pregnant and ordered to pay $28K monthly child support. That amount may seem high, but for what he is worth ($60M), it's a drop in the bucket and his kids deserve to live well. One source says that Gary charges as much as $11,000 an hour as an attorney.
http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2007/04/18/willie-gary-and-his-11000-an-hour-fee/
So he could work three hours a week and pay his child support for the month! And this low life wanted to pay only $5K a month.
But stories about dysfunctional marriages always make me wonder who knew what and when. Did Slick Willie's wife know her husband was cheating? I trust my husband and I trust my kids. But when necessary, I am not above snooping. Is anyone else with me on that? I know who my daughter talks to on her cell phone and have her passwords to her voicemail and email accounts. My daughter is still young, so snooping with her is more safety related and she knows all about it.
On the other hand, I have the password to my husband's voice and email accounts and the password to his business cell phone provider and he doesn't quite know about it. OK he sorta knows about the email but he doesn't know about the voicemail and cell phone provider at all. I don't think that my husband would cheat BUT he is a man and my experience with this species has not always proven them to be upfront about what they do in their off time. This may violate the marriage code and some spiritual principles, but "whatever," Jesus said that the truth will set you free. If he ever starts behaving strangely, dressing differently, jumping when the cell phone rings or staying out late, I will at least have a way of finding out the truth.

Mom Wants To Market Breast Milk

We can file this one under the Yuck Yuck and Ultimate Pack Rat files. A 22 year old Mom in Cedar Rapids, Iowa has decided to sell the breast milk stored in her freezer for $200.00.
Call me a litte too cautious, but unless we were on a desert island AND my baby was starving to death, I would pass on this offer. That is just nasty to me.
Source: http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/odd/2007/11/01/ODD.Selling.Breast.Milk/

New Blog, First Honors Goes to Duane Dog Chapman - Racist of the Day

This is new ground for me, I promise to become more savvy as time goes on. But today I post raw thoughts. I really did not want my first post to be about some insignificant racist idiot but alas this is the world that we live in.

I am sure by now that you have already heard about the Negro chantings of Duane Dog Chapman, The Bounty Hunter. This guy has never been on my radar screen but from what I understand his show is popular. In case you have been under the rock that I usually reside under, here is what he said: http://www.nationalenquirer.com/2007/popup/full-wmv.html

As an African American Woman, I would normally feel some sort of disdain for anyone who used the n$##&% word. But there are a couple of different thoughts that come to mind about this.
He actually says that he doesn't want people to know that he uses the word, I guess it never dawned on him to just find another word to use when he talks about African Americans, uh just for the record "human being" would be a good start Dog. The racist in him could not even consider that sane possibility. Instead, in order to keep his "secret" he wants to keep African Americans outside of his "circle of trust."

For me, the question then becomes do we really want to be able to publicly judge people about words that come out of their mouths in their homes? I really don't! I don't care what some goon is saying after he has a couple of beers or after he has read the Bible since I hear that Dog is a Christian. Dog must read the same Bible that the KKK professed to read before they hung young African Americans from the tree, all of course in the name of Jesus. (Dog, did your pastor know that you were calling him a n#$$%^ behind your Bible?) One look at dude certainly confirms "redneck" to me. So to hear that a redneck looking actor, playing the role of a sane person in a reality show is using the n#$$%^ word at home, with his own adult son is a big YAWN to me. No one I know thinks that white people have ever stopped using this word when we are not around.

So Dog, please drop the fake tears and Lord have mercy, calling Al to your rescue was a big mistake. He is one perm away from being ostracized as an opportunist so my advice is to take your bucks, cut your losses and go back into TP obscurity from whence you came. You played sane for a good little while. You can let it all hang out now.

I can only imagine what Thanksgiving Day dinner will be like at the "Dog house" this year. I predict that at least one turkey leg will be thrown across the table.